Adventures in You Can't Make This Shit Up Volume 3.5

It wasn't over. We thought things had gone to hell and surely we must be on the rebound. Certainly hives, sinus infections, whooping cough scare and all the stuff that had happened was enough.

We were wrong. So, so wrong.

After the hives scare and an all around hellish week, I was making dinner and I looked over at our oldest and thought she had a scratch on her scalp. Instead, it was a louse.

Hey, How's it go'n?

I hate lice. I am a little obsessive about germs and bugs. I experienced one of my worst battles with depression after my girls had lice about 7 years ago. I was so freaked out by the lice warning sent home from my oldest daughter's summer camp one summer, that I treated my whole family with the chemical lice stuff with out ever seeing a louse or a nit. During that process, Maggie would not look up so I could rinse her hair, she got the chemical in her eyes and it burned the retinas in both eyes. We went to the emergency room to have her eyes rinsed and thankfully, the physician who saw us was a mother and totally sympathetic to my crazy obsession with keeping lice away.

If she had lost her sight, we would have blamed soap poisoning

Anyway, my sweet husband was at work so I took all the kids with me to the pharmacy to pick up the treatment stuff. We got home and I proceed with sheet changing and putting Merritt to bed so I could treat the bigger girls while she was sleeping. Are you kidding me? Nothing ever goes as planned. Merritt was no sooner asleep than she began throwing up. Not fricking joking. Lice and the stomach flu.

I run down stairs to do change the laundry. Umm, the stuff in the dryer isn't dry at all. Just a wad of wet clothes. Could it be? No, could the dryer have stopped working? Surely no. Yes friends my dryer was broken too.

So between the vomit and everything else, no one got treated for lice that night.

The next morning I had an early morning Dr. appointment to check out the twins, make sure they were growing and do a fetal echocardiogram. It was a 4 hour appointment, but things look terrific. Babies look healthy and strong. I am healthy and strong. Hooray! A win for the week.

On my way home, I was struggling with my cell phone to let my husband know all is well, and I get pulled over. A $110.00 ticket for being on my cell phone while driving. I know I deserved it, but come on!!!!! I was seriously too bitter to even muster up tears. I even thanked the officer for ticketing me. It was just too much.

When I got home I wrangled all the laundry and the children into the mini-van and headed to the

pediatricians office to check out our oldest child's hives. That all went fine, although I was practically catatonic at that point. We got to the laundromat, and I unloaded the acres of unclean laundry into the washers (wait, did I mention I am around six months pregnant with twins and not exactly graceful or nimble). Took the kids to dinner at Subway where our youngest spent the entire time bullying Maggie by stealing all her food. We jumped back in the van and headed back to the laundry mat where our youngest began throwing up again.

At this point, our oldest was sitting in the car with the baby and Maggie and just sobbing. The week was to much for her too. I would not have made it without her. She was so compassionate, so helpful and she kept the mood mostly light with her witty observations.

I know I am only at Tuesday, but the rest of the week was a blur. I know Maggie had to be sedated and have an MRI, blood work and some other tests. We don't have results yet. Our youngest has a terrible cough and green nasal discharge, thankfully the pediatrician took pity on us and prescribed antibiotics over the phone on that one.

I believe there was more than a few major poopy things that happened that included stepping in some.

What kind of storm would we call that?

 I can't write about it. I am trying to forget. But at one point, I sent my husband a text that said, “you will never know how awful this night has been or what the girls and I have gone through”. That was Tuesday night. Between the vomit, the lice, Maggie's diarrhea, and my tears, there is no way to articulate the horror and despair that was my week. I was actually jealous that my husband got to go to work and spend his days and evenings with mental patients.

We are fine now.   Bring it on next week.

L&P