Thursday, September 13, 2012

Douchebag Field Identification Guide Chapter 1

I LIVE IN MY HAT
 

Identifying Markings:  Hat; occasionally accompanied by a poorly maintained goatee
Diet:  Burgers, Fries, Pizza, Shitty Beer
Mating Ritual: Roofies in some bar skanks PBR.
Mating Call: Are you into ACDC?
Celebrity Versions:  Michael Moore, Larry the Cable Guy
Preferred mode of transportation :  Camaro with primer
Summary:
At work, at play, attending a funeral, or asleep, this douche bag will rarely be seen with out his lid. 
“I don't have time to do my hair or any of the bullshit.”
Hey guess what your brother spent $600 flying you into town for his wedding, he also blew another $200 renting your tux for you since your mom threw a fucking fit when she found out he wasn't going to make you a groomsman.  So pretty please, take off the fucking hat!


L&P

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