Adventures in You Can't Make This Shit Up Volume 3

Well in the last week my 12 year old had to go to the doctor due to a sinus infection, my wife had to go to the doctor due to a bladder infection, my 1 year old had to go to the doctor due to her busted arm issues, and my 14 year old had to go to the emergency room due to a strange allergic reaction that we have not yet been able to trace the origin of.  I am hoping we will find that she is allergic to popped collars.  This will greatly reduce the amount of shit bags she brings into my home as the years go on.  Also it appears that we have all been exposed to whooping cough.  Yes we have been vaccinated, but it's still a little freaky. 

I do not believe in Karma, but after a week like this I can not help but wonder if in a past life I was the creator of mustard gas, or inventor of the rectal thermometer, or the first guy to tell Latoya Jackson, "I think you should do Playboy."

The Girls of Area 51 Issue

The law of averages states that The supposed principle that future events are likely to balance any past deviation from a presumed average. How I think that this applies to my family would be as follows.  Into every life, some rain must fall.  My family has had more than their fair share of rainy days.  Not only our fair share but your fair share, and the fair share of three of your cousins.  Not the one with the drug problem though, he's got issues.

If the law of averages tells us that eventually things will even out then I like to think that I am front loading all of the heat ache and financial troubles. I fully expect the second half of my life to be filled with lottery winnings,  strangers giving me sports cars, and a freak accident involving chemicals and radiation which grants me the power of telekinesis, my wife the power of super speed, my oldest daughter the power of shape changing, my middle child the power of telepathy (can't give her to much power, she is the middle child after all), and my youngest the gift of invulnerability.  Also, everyone gets perfect teeth.

not a superpower, but you just can't beat a nice smile

What makes me nervous is that this prophecy may  not come true.  Perhaps I am looking at it on a micro level when this principle should be applied on a macro level.  Maybe my family will have several decades worth of hospital trips, financial strife, and shitty traffic so that another family can go through life just going to the grocery store without someone peeing their pants or eating a button, or puking on the cash register.  
Perhaps my family is bearing the cross for several others so that they may tip toe through life happy as a pig in shit, perfectly unaware of the crap storm that we typically endure paying the karmic price for their lavender scented existence.   

 I know that I have a roof over my head and food in my kitchen.  This is more than many have or will have for their foreseeable future. I am appreciative of all that I have.  But in my narrow view of my tiny corner of the world, it just feels that my brood endures an unreal amount of inconveniences, illness, and bad luck.
This may be confirmation bias.  But I'll be damned if it doesn't feel intentional some days.

In closing I would like to make the following recommendations for society as a whole.

• Life, begin exploring other ways to stack the deck, try NOT against me for a change! It will be refreshing for both of us.
•  Netflix, how about we get moving on Smallville on demand huh?
• White Supremacists, knock it off.   

 L&P