Can You Keep A Secret?

          As many of you know half of the writers of L&P work in mental health. This field of work is simultaneously rewarding and frustrating. Rewarding because helping someone who needs help is always rewarding. Frustrating for many reasons but the reason I would like to focus on today is how the field in which I work is misrepresented.

When I was a kid I thought that mentally ill people all thought that they were Napoleon and got locked up for their own good and to keep them from accidentally conquering all of Europe. This was due to the way in which the mentally ill were portrayed in Warner Bros. cartoons. Now that I work in mental health I have learned that there is somewhat more nuance to mental health than simply putting shackles on anyone that tucks their hand into their shirt.

          It is important to let those that do not work in this field know that the Hollywood version of the world of mental health is inaccurate to the point of damaging.  Specifically the way in which a client's personal and confidential information is handled.  

          If you have watched more than a couple of episodes of Law & Order SVU then you have more than likely seen an episode where the detectives interview a therapist (or other mental health worker). The conversation usually goes something like this,

Detective: I’m a detective; tell me everything about this person.

Therapist: I can’t, because of rules.

Detective: I will destroy you!

Therapist: Oh ok, let me tell you everything then.

Look at my hairline and fear me!

In reality the conversation is more like this.

Detective: I’m a detective; tell me everything about this person.

Therapist: I can’t because of rules.

Detective: Oh, right, there are rules. Ha ha, as a matter of fact, now that I think about it, following and enforcing rules is pretty much my job.

Therapist: Yeah, can you imagine how much it would suck if you were just going around violating peoples civil rights all the time.

Detective: You are right, that would suck.

Both: Ha Ha Ha!

Therapist: Let’s make out.

Detective: Ok.

          I may have taken a little dramatic license with that but I think you catch my drift.

          This is damaging because many people that seek professional help are ashamed of the fact that they need help. Many of the problems that can be worked through with therapy are embarrassing and the idea that one’s inner most demons are up for discussion with anyone is terrifying to the point that some individuals would rather die than know that the trust placed in their therapist was betrayed.

Those considering seeking help for mental health issues may decide to avoid it because the privacy rules seem so lackadaisically enforced in pop culture. Those that work in the mental health field treat their clients’ privacy with care and seriousness. If a client does not trust those that are working with them then the therapeutic relationship is ham stringed. It would be like working as a carpenter but having a prejudice against hammers.

It's just to easy

Thanks to this portrayal of the privacy rules between a therapist and their client it may be thought by the general public that these rules are no more obeyed than rules regarding jaywalking, internet piracy, or the usage of folding chairs in professional wrestling.
If you'd like to read up more on privacy in mental health then check this out HIPAA.

Please dear reader know that if you are considering seeking help from a mental health professional that your privacy is of the utmost importance to those that would help you. If you are already involved in with a mental health professional know that your privacy is secured.
However, if you think that you are Napoleon, then know this, Waterloo is a great song by Abba, but not a place I recommend you visit.

Cheers,

L&P

Adventures in Maggie Reering Volume 1

Throughout my tenure as a parent to a special needs child I have learned many valuable lessons.  One of these lessons can best be summed up in a quote by Albert Einstein. I include his first name to ensure that you do not confuse this Einstein with the purveyors of my favorite coffee and bagels at Einstein Bagels.  By the way Einstein Bagels, endorsement deals are available for your fine products.

Anyways, Albert Einstein once said, "Only two things are infinite, the Universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

This was brought into glaring clarity several months back when talking to a co-worker.  We had some down time and conversation turned toward our children and eventually, as any proud father would do, I began to show off pictures of my kids. When I got to pictures of Maggie the co-worker turned to me with a concerned look on her face and asked, "Whats wrong with her?"  Being the eternal optimist that I am I assumed that something was smeared on the picture so I looked at the picture, finding nothing wrong with it I asked her to clarify.  At this co-worker made a gesture to her face and stated, "Her eyes."

"Oh, she has Down syndrome." I responded, not really thinking much of it.
I should point out that this co-worker is of Asian decent so the next part I was going to chalk up to her unfamiliarity with the Kings English.  After all, what other reason could there be for her then saying, "Oh that's bad."

Again, being the eternal optimist I was going to let her clarify since, at least at this point.  She couldn't possibly mean what it sounded like she meant. She continued, "My sister found out that she was going to have one of those and she told that doctor to take it out she didn't want it.  It's really bad."

I'm going to stop here to clarify something because I am treading on delicate territory.  I am not going to go into anything about reproductive rights, or when life begins, or anything like that.  That is not what this blog is about.  Moving on.

At this point in the conversation I was faced with two choices. The first choice was that this woman is a stone cold stupid bitch.  I mean bitch on the Ann Coulter level of Bitchdome.  That reminds me of a joke.

Ann Coulter walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
Then the bartender beats her senseless with a softball bat wrapped in barbed wire.

The second choice was that what I might be experiencing was a difference in how various cultures view those with special needs.  I have been told that in the past the Japanese viewed any physical deformity with great shame.  I thought to myself that perhaps this was a view that was prevalent in many Asian cultures.  I didn't have time to look it up mid conversation, so I gave my co-worker the benefit of the doubt and assumed that she was not being rude, just responding to an  individual with Down syndrome in a way that is appropriate in her native culture.  Not unlike a person who is told that being gay is an abomination their entire life without ever actually meeting a gay person may respond.  If an individual grew up never having that "truth" challenged then why would they not think that homosexuality is an abomination.  Then again, a few lines after that verse in the bible it also says that shellfish is an abomination and I have yet to read a news report on Red Lobster being protested by the Westboro Babtist Church.

Moving on.

The academic that I am I was excited for the opportunity to educate her, "There is nothing wrong with her, she just has Down syndrome."  To me, and many other parents of children with special needs, this statements makes perfect sense.  To her it must have sounded like I was saying, "What do you mean your computer is broke, it's just in two pieces now." I make this assumption based on the look of confusion that spread across her face.  She then asked if my wife had known that our daughter had Down syndrome prior to giving birth.  I did not have the time or presence of mind to capture my wife's elegant thoughts on this question which can be viewed here.  I informed her that, yes, my wife did know.

She then asked, "Well why did she have it then?"  in retrospect I am impressed at my ability to not turn from loving and caring father into a machine that's sole purpose is to dispense neck punches to undersized Asian women.  After all, what parent doesn't love having their child referred to as "it".  This coupled with a display of arm movements which can best be described as flabbergasted.

I put the question back to her as to why wouldn't my wife have her, after all, there was nothing wrong with her.

The conversation ended here due to the fact that we were suddenly expected to do work of all things.
I am still unsure if her response to my daughter was ignorance driven, some good old fashioned prejudice, or culturally driven.  Which brings me to my next point.  Other cultures are stupid.  Dammit out of time, I will have to tackle that one next time.


L&P