The Name Game

Well my wife has reached levels of discomfort that can not be fully understood by anything packing testicles and that can mean only one thing, the twins are almost here.  We are not yet fully prepared as the boys' room is still lacking a couple of essential items and the college funds are presently imaginary.  That being said, we are getting excited.  The lack of activity on the blog of late has been largely due to our time being dedicated to trying to tie up those last few loose ends. We apologize but there always seems to be more chores than time.

One of those chores has been to zero in on a name for these little buggers.  Naming a child is one of the trickiest things about preparing for a new addition to your family.  The twin factor adds another layer due to the fact that many parents of twins choose to go with a rhyme scheme or theme.  Also, the fact that we give people two names seems a bit strange to me.  I understand the legal and logical reasoning behind a first and last name.  But what is the purpose of the middle name?  Is if the vice name, seated to take control in the event that the first name is assassinated? A backup name in the event that the first name fails due to technical difficulties.  I suppose I can research this later.  Anyway we have pretty much zeroed in on what we are calling these kiddos and since we may be meeting them any day now, I thought it would be a good idea to introduce them to you.  Well at least the names.  But first, the runners up.

Steven Harris - We liked this one because Steven is a family name and since we are fans of Dexter it would be fun to use the name Harris as a nod to a character in the show.  Steve Harris is also the name of the bass player for Iron Maiden.  Almost snuck that past the wife. Almost.

Danger - I have been fortunate enough to have several of what I can classify as best friends.  Maybe a dozen over the years.  Two of these chaps go by the names Daniel and Gerald (Jerry for short).  If I cut the first three letters off both names then smoosh them together we get the name Danger.  This would have been a middle name of course.  Shot down because it may be setting this little guy up for a life of crime.  Or of being to awesome.

Gotlob - I have a cousin that is really into our family history.  While hunting through our family tree together he showed me that I have an ancestor that went by the name Gotlob.  I liked this name because I like the idea of going through your whole life and NEVER meeting another individual of the same name.  The wife never gave this one a chance.  Probably because it sounds terrible.

Clark - I love me some Superman.  This one would have been paired with a first name that would have coincidentally given the boy the same name as a famous explorer.  A little bit of research revealed that this explorer was a real dick to his slaves and was in fact, the only member of the Oregon Trail party that thought it would be appropriate to brings a slave.  Moving on.

Saxon - This was only bandied about for about three days.  Three awesome days.  The wife came up with it and I was totally on board.  Mostly because I loved the idea of naming one of my youngsters after an early 80s metal band.  Part of the reason this got rejected was that if we named one of them Saxon, the other one would probably have to be Stryper.  That borders on child abuse.  

Max - This would have been paired with Danger.  Maximus Danger, Max Danger.  This fell into the same trap that Saxon did. If we named one Max Danger the other would have to go by something like Total Destruction, or Mass Damage.  Fun yes, but also a set up for a youth spent in juvenile detention.

Fletcher - One obstacle of naming a child is bad associations with otherwise fine names.  We both liked this name.  I even worked with a Fletcher that was a stand up guy.  But she knew a guy named Fletcher that was kind of a perv.  So Fletcher was out. 

Dexter - Again, big fans of the show.  But naming your kid after a serial killer, even a fictional one is a little nutty.  Also last season was a little meh.

Harrison - This was a strong candidate but one of our best friends who is due right about the same time we are already called dibs.  According to the shotgun bylaws, the laws which govern all childhood rules up to and including who gets the front seat of the car, we had to respect the dibs. 

Stephen - A family name.  A solid name.  The list of the Stephen's that I admire includes, Stephen Colbert, Dr. Steve Novella, Steve Tyler, Stephen Hawking, Stephen Fry, Stephen King, and the guy that sang Magic Carpet Ride.  We went with another family name to honor this same person.

Archer - More on Archery later, but this is also the name of one of my favorite super spies.  

The Winners

Robert Oliver.

Robert is my first name, my father's first name, his father's first name, the name of the guy that played Iron Man, the name of a famous sea captain which explored much of the North West, and yes a sparkly vampire.  But they can't all be winners.  It's flexible too, lots of ways you can go with Robert; Rob Robby, Bob.  None of these matter though as we will be calling him by his middle name.

Oliver is a classic name.  It is also the name of the Green Arrow who is one of my favorite super heroes.    Archery is not only the only sport that I am any good at but also an excellent way to calm your mind.  It was a big part of my childhood and something that I still enjoy today. Also, the initial's will spell ROK. 

Say no to drugs

William Alexander
William is my brothers name, my father-in-law's name, one half of Wild Stallions, Dr. Huxtable, the science guy, an infamous gun slinger in the old west, and arguably the greatest playwright ever to have lived.  I could go on but there really is a crazy long list of famous folk with the name William. William is a flexible name like Robert; with your Bill, Billy, Will, Willy, and Will.I.Am.  But this kid will go by William.
Alexander is a classic name and I have always admired the story of Alexander the Great.  That dude did more in his life than any 10 other people.  Needless to say, I will expect him to conquer most of Persia by his 30th birthday.

When we play D&D I will only let him play a Bard

 Again, sorry about the lack of activity as of late, babies will do that to you.

L&P

The Night of a Thousand Panties

As most of you know I am currently pregnant with twin boys.  I am now in my 33rd week and quite enormous.  It has actually been a fairly easy pregnancy other than the discomfort of two babies wrestling for space.  This week I think baby A is head down, directly on my bladder and baby B has his head in my ribs and bum on my bladder. As a side note:, unless you have been pregnant with twins or more, there is no comparison to 4 arms, 4 legs and two heads fighting for space inside my belly, no singleton pregnancy is like this no matter how big the baby. Needless to say, I have to pee about every 30-45 minutes and my bladder has shrunk to the size of a pea. 

Earlier this week I came down with a bad cough, sore throat, nasal congestion, sneezes, all of the crummy winter cold symptoms.  Because of being full of child(ren) and having already birthed 3 babies, I am wise to the fact that I may "spirtz" occasionally and that crossing my legs while sneezing or coughing is always wise.

Nothing could have prepared me for the "spritzing" that happened this week.  I mean, it was more like a damn sprinkler.  I went to bed Tuesday night around 9 with a mild cough and I woke up at midnight with spazmic, body shaking, hacking coughs that came out of nowhere and every time I had a coughing fit I wet my pants.  No amount of leg crossing could stop the veritable Niagra Falls that would occur when I coughed.  I was so feverish and out of it I could not think clearly enough to do anything but change my panties and pajamas as needed.  I would change, and then immediately need to change again.  I was sitting in the bathroom with the shower on the hottest setting in hopes that the steam would clear the gunk from my lungs, so fortunately for my husband, I never "wet" the bed (although I did have a coughing fit while sitting on the couch, oops).

So when morning came, my loving husband insisted that I call the doctor.  When I called the nurse asked me if I was "leaking fluid", meaning amniotic fluid, you know, like if my water had broken.  I said no, but that I was wetting my pants, when I had a coughing fit.  She wanted to know if I had felt much movement from the babies, I responded that I had not felt as much movement as usual, but that I assumed they would be less active since I was ill.  She said she wanted to check with the doctor and call me back.  So the doctor called me back and insisted that I go to Labor and Delivery at the hospital for monitoring of the babies and that they would figure out how to check my lungs there. 

I cobbled together some dignity, took a shower and when I got dressed, I realized I had gone through all of my "sensible" panties.  All I had left was my "sexy" panties.  When you go to Labor and Delivery you know they will be seeing your panties.  Really, who wants to see a woman who is 33 weeks pregnant with twins and having frequent incontinence wearing a lacy tanga or a filmy thong?  I found a semi-appropriate boy short that was mostly ruffles and headed to the hospital.  Oh, I forgot to mention that Maggie had an important appointment  so Casey took her and the baby and I took our 14 year old with me,  again, what 14 year old wants to see her mother in any kind of anything other than a granny panty. 

After I was checked in and dressed in a gown, they hooked me up to the monitors, exposing my panties to my 14 year old and the nursing staff.  Anyhow, I texted my husband to let him know that I was in Labor and Delivery room 4, he thought I was "in labor", and texted back that he was on his way and should he starting calling family.  Shoot, I meant I was in the Labor and Delivery part of the hospital.  Major text miscommunication.  I called him immediately and let him know all was well and no babies yet. 

I repeatedly told the staff that this was an over reaction and that I was fine and just needed some antibiotics.  Nope, they tested me in all the uncomfortable ways, and then the doctor came in.  He was a man.  Dignity once again lost.  He informed me that it was an over reaction and I was fine.  He gave me a prescription for antibiotics and sent me on my way.  He also suggested in the most pitiful way, that incontinence would likely be resolved once the twins were born or the cough was gone. Yeah, I figured as much. 

Sorry if you were hoping for a more provocative post.

L&P