Four Weeks Old

William on the left, Ollie on the right

Due to the tone of our last entry I feel that I should begin by letting you know that everyone is alive and recovering well.  The boys are gaining weight steadily which is a good sign.  My wife is also recovering and is as healthy as anyone who is no longer allowed to sleep with any regularity can be.

When my wife and I first started telling people that we were going to have twins, bringing our grand total of offspring to 5, a common response was, "Well after three kids there isn't much of a difference."  This gave us a bit of optimism as the thought that we were about to be able to fill a minivan was overwhelming to say the least.

I'm going to say that again, many of the people that we informed about our impending double birth gave us the impression that it would not impact us as much as we had feared.
Experience is a great teacher.  For instance, it has taught me that each and everyone of those individuals are either clueless, or malevolent evil geniuses who drink the tears of the broken willed.

I would like to give those individuals the benefit of the doubt and assume that they are not wicked, but ignorant.  Like a child lost in a department store.  Like a blind person in a darts tournament.  Like someone who does not have ADHD attempting to watch MTV.

You're out of your element Donny!

  Thus far this experience is like trying to juggle chainsaws.  Chainsaws that vomit and pee at you.  Adorable chainsaws that I love with all my heart.  But chainsaws none the less.

I have learned that I am significantly less funny when deprived of sleep.  I have learned that my wife is a juggernaut of parenting ninjatude and that I have so much to learn from her.
 I have learned that it is nigh impossible to split your attention fairly between all of your children.  Try as we might, whoever is crying the loudest seems to receive the most attention.
I have learned that I work with the most generous individuals that have donated time and funds to assist my family.  This fact is made even more amazing since most of my co-workers have never met my family.  This is humbling and frustrating because when I win the lottery (and I WILL), I now have to slice that pie up into even more pieces.
I have learned that baby boys will strike like a cobra with a stream of hot pee as soon as soon as a diaper is removed.
I have learned that a 20 month old can remove all of the keys off of a laptop in as much time as it takes me to empty my bladder.
I have learned that my 14 year old is fucking awesome.  I knew that, but this knowledge has been reinforced.

It is bittersweet to think that we will never go through this experience again firsthand.  Unfortunate as well since I almost think I am getting the hang of this.
We are trying to keep up with the posts but, as you may well expect, time is a precious commodity and it is almost always spent cramming milk into a baby or cleaning up any number of bodily fluids.
Thank you for your patients and for your support.

L&P