Kids Say the Darnedest... On No

My Crotch HURTS!!!!!

These are the words erupted from my two year old while in the dressing room with her mother and oldest sister while on a dress hunting expedition.  After getting a reaction from her audience she repeated the sentence over and over and yet still over with increasing volume.  Needless to say, she most likely learned the word "crotch" from yours truly.  I'm fairly certain that she heard use of this word when I was changing her diaper and was struggling to keep her hands away from the mess contained therein.  Of course I did not say this phrase directly.  I remember the conversation.

Me: Stop trying to touch your crotch kid.
Kid: Crotch?
Me: Oh shit, don't say crotch ok?
Kid: Shit crotch?
Me: Dammit, um... do you want to watch Paw Patrol?
Kid: PAW PATROL!
Me: That should fix it.

I'm still pretty certain that she does not know what most of the words that I said during this conversation mean save Paw Patrol.  Only that she knows that in using them she got a reaction.  One of the most enjoyable and terrifying things is watching my children learn.  They are always learning.  Especially, it would seem, when I am hoping that they are not paying attention.

This has lead to a sobering awareness of my own actions.  One day, I was having what I consider a fully justifiable temper tantrum.  I don't remember why.  The toddler asked, "Are you mad dad?"
This made me aware that I was being watched and that, unless I wanted to see me at my least cool echoed in my children then I needed to get my shit together.  I took a deep breath and tried to make this a teaching moment.  "Yes Merritt, daddy is mad."

She responded by telling me, "I'm Madder!" she then clenched her tiny fists, thrust them down at her sides, then stomped around our home yelling, "I'm Madder!!!" She wasn't, she was just doing what she saw dad do.  It occurred to me that this is probably what I looked like to her.  Wow, I look like a child when I'm angry.  This did much to alleviate the stress I was feeling and replaced it with a healthy dose of shame.  Vader like, the student had become the master.

One of my first observations about being a parent was that I finally understood how much my parents loved me.  I knew that it wasn't the first lesson that my children would teach me. I know this latest lesson is far from the last.  If we do our jobs right and I keep learning from them and they keep learning from me, then in a couple of decades, we'll see just shy of a half dozen new and improved versions of my wife and I but with a few of our less flattering habits and an increase in the things that we are proud that we do.

Of course, they are their own people and while we will have great influence over what kind of people they will turn into, they will be who they will be.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  As long as they don't turn out to be Beliebers.

Cheers
L&P